Joke/pun thread

[s-ol]

There are 10 types of people: Those who understand binary numbers, those who don't and those who didn't think this joke was in ternary.

[Ranguna259]

These jokes are awesome

[master both]

How many programmers is needed to change a light bulb?

none, that's a hardware problem.

[davisdude]

This seems applicable:

[Zilarrezko]

Here's a UDP joke, though I don't care if you get it.

[Roland_Yonaba]

[Davidobot]

Why do programmers celebrate Halloween on Christmas Day and vice versa?

Because 25 DEC = 31 OCT!

(who uses octal nowadays anymore?)

I was about to post that, but here's one:

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.

Here's another one:


and another:

[vrld]

Here's a UDP joke, though I don't care if you get it.

- "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
- "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
- "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
- "OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."
- "OK, I will hear a TCP joke."
- "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
- "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
- "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
- "OK, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
- "I am sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

And on that note, these lyrics to this song.


Also,

There are 10 types of people: Those who understand binary numbers, those who don't and those who didn't think this joke was in ternary.

There are only 10 types of people in this world:
Those with no understanding of hexidecimals
Those with almost no understanding of hexidecimals
Those with a very basic understanding of hexidecimals
Those with a mediocre understanding of hexidecimals
Those with below average understanding of hexidecimals
Those with an average understanding of hexidecimals
Those with above average understanding of hexidecimals
Those with a decent understanding of hexidecimals
Those with a pretty good understanding of hexidecimals
A. Those with a great understanding of hexidecimals
B. Those with an excellent understanding of hexidecimals
C. Those with a fantastic understanding of hexidecimals
D. Those with a stupendous understanding of hexidecimals
E. Those with a masterful understanding of hexidecimals
F. Those with an unreal understanding of hexidecimals
10 . Those with a godlike understanding of hexidecimals

Bonus: Why don't people tell jokes in base 8? Because 7 10 11.

Bonus Bonus: A game tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders ten beers. Orders 2.15 billion beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a nothing. Orders a cat. Tries to leave without paying.

[Roland_Yonaba]

@Davidobot: Thanks, I loved that one ending with the physicist complaining about gravity.
@vrld: I already knew the original TCP joke, but your variant is quite nice! Thanks sharing!

THis one also cracked me up.

[Jasoco]

Keep it up!