Joke/pun thread

[deströyer]

Random stuff I've pulled off Twitter and added to Bugzilla:

·When StackOverflow goes down, how do they figure out what's going wrong?
·Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.
·I've been using Vim for about 2 years now, mostly because I can't figure out how to exit it.
·IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOMEONE CALLED JASON HAS BEEN ENCODING AND DECODING DATA IN OUR APP. PLEASE CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS
·I wrote two lines of code yesterday. They were both wrong.
·PROTIP: Turn data into big data by encoding it as XML
·Is it really functional programming if you don't give a talk about it?
·One man's constant is another man's variable.
·"Nothing Compares 2 U" is a song about NaNs, right?
·A full-stack developer is one who can add technical debt to any layer of the application
·Unix is the worst operating system; except for all others
·Programmer's Credo: we do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they were going to be easy
·"What one programmer can do in one month, two programmers can do in two months" - Fred Brooks
·This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined.
·Programming Skills: PRIMARILY RUBY AND PYTHON BUT I CAN USE ANY TYPE OF GEM TO CONTROL ANY TYPE OF SNAKE
·The "S" in IoT stands for security
·Please quit telling me to “keep up the good work” the good work was an accident and impossible to replicate
·GDPR: y2k for millennials - Adam Laiacano
·Nobody ever got fired for using Jira. They quit first. - @peterseibel
·Remember, a few hours of trial and error can save you several minutes of looking at the README. @iamdevloper